In Returning and Rest is Your Salvation
'Go in and Find Rest'
Dear Reader,
Are you aware of the pace you live? Or why? Are you aware of a need for a ‘make-over’? I wasn’t - till one day….
Suddenly one day when I was completing my PhD and working as a Research Assistant on funded research for teachers, including travel to work with teachers in Yorkshire and in Hampshire, (N and S of England) I suddenly became aware of my constant ‘rushing’. Alongside this was an awareness that I was rushing to get somewhere which was not to do with what I was doing!!
But after years of serving in schools, then Higher Education, I was brought to my knees, literally. In my exhaustion I was called by God, and found myself daily wanting to surrender to God’s will. My life was in effect turned inside out!!
Please don’t think this change happened over night! I needed to learn consciously about God and His ways from the Bible, and the prayers that previous believers have prayed, particularly The Magnificat of the Theotokos, St Paul, St Theresa of Lisieux, and Elizabeth of the Trinity, St Francis and St Claire, St Columba, Sts Silouan and Seraphim.
I discovered how prayer built my relationship with God, others, and my Inner Being, in Love. It changed my loveless soul into a Loving and trusting soul and Spirit, gradually, one day, one struggle and surrender, at a time.
Maybe you have seen those house ‘make-overs’ when a team of experts come into a house that is in need of repairs, and gradually, starting with basics, they throw out all that isn’t serving, and rebuild the house to become what the owner needs and desires.
I think that is what Christ, the Holy Spirit, and God the Father have done for me - supported by the saints that I have found as prayer warriors fighting for me in prayer: or directing me at times of dire need: St Aidan, St Cuthbert, St Silouan, St Spiridon, St Minas, St Theophan the Recluse, and St Paisios and St Porphyrios. All these had a particular role in directing behaviour and thinking, when I was being tempted, or encouraging me to persevere in courage and faith, even when facing darkness and despair, or needed to risk a new dimension of love.
Much of this has been in a context of serving and seeking to help others find the fullness of God’s Love, and the wisdom of God’s Grace living in them; through ‘taking every thought captive’, and facing their pain.
This has been on-going for over 30 years… but this Lent particularly I have sensed a deeper call to ‘go in’ and find rest. I had to let go of all - even subconscious, seeking love from others, and seek it instead from God alone.
Over the last few days of prayer and resting, I have needed to accept at first hand the words from Isaiah, 30:15.
‘For thus says the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: “In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.”
But the prophet adds, ‘But you would not.’
But although in the last 3 years I have now been fulfilling the writing He’s asked of me, I was also dragged away by seeking to serve others on line, who had suffered abuse and were seeking to live in faith Its hard to do that purely when ungodly mindsets coming from selfish, even greedy, needy worldly attitudes, created conflict in my soul.
Was I being true to Christ and His Spirit in me?
So I need to consider what does the ‘returning and rest’ signify?.
As I listened within… I thought of the joy I have in holding myself each moment into His Presence in my Heart. Through this practice I have rested in God’s Love, experienced His healing Presence in the Heart and Vagus nerves. And I now know an inner peace within holding that wholeness, fullness, and purified mind and heart. This is the Joy, Love and the source of all the ‘fruit of the Spirit’ that St Paul talks about.
And now as I listen I am re-told to ‘love my neighbour as myself.’
I need to offer others, in Spirit and in Truth the ‘easy way’ to overcome and know that Love, Peace and Trust that ‘All things will be well’, - In Christ.
I need to point the way to the New Jerusalem, and the Eternal Joy that comes from allowing God’s Spirit and Word to bring deliverance and healing into all our suffering, and THEN to Live in Resurrection power in total trust in God’s Love, Provision and Purposes. Amen.
When I am unsure of His Love, I say,
“Lord I believe, help Thou my unbelief.’
And then I simply Trust that He will provide for what ever Love adventure is to come! because I believe His Promises.!